I loathe that rapey marmalade shitbag with a passion, but there is ONE context in which thinking about him makes me smile: that time he allegedly got spanked by porn star Stormy Daniels.
As the story goes, they’d been uhhhhh, ‘hanging out’ a fair bit back in 2006. One day he was sitting there blabbing on and on about how great he is, as we’ve all been subjected to hearing countless times, and she got fed up.
“Does this normally work for you? Talking about yourself?”
Do bears shit in the woods? Silly question to ask a narcissist. Anyhoo, he was apparently holding a magazine with his own face on the cover at the time and she held her hand out.
“Someone should take that magazine and spank you with it. Gimme that.”
“You wouldn’t.”
Oh, but she would. She rolled it up and ordered him to turn around and drop his pants. Once he’d obliged, she stepped forward and gave el future presidente a couple well-deserved swats. Though it was a drop in the ocean compared to what most spankos typically prefer, the experience apparently had a positive impact on their relationship.
“From that moment on, he was a completely different person. He quit talking about himself. He asked me things and I asked him things and it became a little more appropriate.”
You can hear her recount the tale yourself, if you’re keen.
Consensual disciplinary spanking doesn’t appeal to or benefit everyone. Most adults tend to be too put off by the idea to get anything out of it, which I completely understand. But Donald Trump, if this legend is true, seems not to be one of those people. Though the brief encounter clearly didn’t do much to cure his overall condition, it upped the level of respect the pussy-grabber showed his mistress from there on out.
“You’re smart, beautiful, and a woman to be reckoned with. I like you.”
Spank on, Stormy.
-T