We spankos tend to love chatting with one another about the fetish. Connecting over this thing so near and dear to our hearts can be healing, inspiring, and gloriously fun. Talking with my fellow spankee ladies, in particular, feels a bit like touching base with a reflection of myself. We’re all unique, yet woven from the same yarn in many ways.
One such dudette is OldFashionedGirl, who I recently met on Fetlife. She lives over in Texas with her husband and used to have a well-known spanking blog of her own, which I’m sad to have missed out on. (It’s now discontinued. Boo hoos.) Luckily, she was kind enough to put aside time to let me pick her brain. The following is our getting-to-know-you convo.
Sweet Tea: Thanks for setting aside time to chat spanko stuff, OldFashionedGirl. We're pretty much brand new to each other. I don't know anything about you aside from what I've read on your profile. Our similarities jumped out at me, of course. This spoke to my soul:
"I've had a huge spanking fetish my entire life and it’s on my mind 24/7. My motto is that adult consensual spanking should be fun and sexy, loving and nurturing, as well as discipline."
Yes yes yes. And although you no longer blog about spanking, you did for 10 years, so writing is another passion we share. Aside from that, I know you currently live in Texas, dig certain types of roleplay, and enjoy a consensual domestic-discipline relationship with your husband, who is also a die-hard spanko.
Before we get into all that, I'm wondering if you could tell me a bit about your ‘spanko origin story’. You, like me, have felt the presence of the fetish your entire life. At what point did you realize it was there? Was there anything specific that made you think, “Oh, hang on, I'm different"?
Old Fashioned Girl: I was 4 years old and witnessed my male cousin get a spanking OTK from his father (my uncle) and became frightened yet mesmerized by what was happening. After that, the older I became, the more my fascination with spankings grew. As I hit puberty it became a full-blown fetish. Spanking is the first and last thing I think about each and every day. I realized I was different when I was around 14 or 15. Other girls spoke about kissing boys and other naughty stuff. I thought about getting spanked by male teachers or really cute boys my age.
ST: Did you deal with any shame related to the fetish or worry you were crazy or anything like that? I definitely did.
OFG: Oh absolutely. If I was threatened with a spanking, I would blush and feel intense emotions and embarrassment. When I was 8, my grandfather took me across his lap after I cursed at my mom and I hated him for it. It was a very confusing feeling. I felt really alone. So many intense emotions for so many years until I reached adulthood and discovered there were others out there just like me.
A very strange thing I did was ask my mom to read me a “spanking story.” It would be a made-up story by her that included a spanking. My mom must've thought I was weird.
ST: Totally relatable. It was such a confusing thing to grow up with, feeling scared and embarrassed and fascinated all at once, and secretly wanting it on some level. That story about your mom made me giggle. That's actually pretty adorable, coming from a mini-spankee, though I'm sure your mom probably did find it weird. Like, “why wouldn't you have a spanking in a story, mom?? It's the most scandalous thing in the world!”
At what point did you finally get to experience it for real, in the way we spankos like it? Did you try to explore your fetish with vanilla boyfriends when you started dating? I couldn't bring it up out loud until well after college. Before that I kept trying to break through the telepathy barrier, constantly thinking, "Please spank me. I can't ask for it directly or I'll fall down and die right here in your bedroom, but please please please please please."
OFG: When I was a teenager and dated guys, I would not dare discuss it with them, but would drop a few hints saying things like, “Are you going to spank me because I forgot to call you?” They never took the bait and I held onto my virginity until I was in college. As a freshman, I would hang out on 6th street in Austin. Big party scene. It was there that I met a gorgeous guy in his early 20’s with a strong New York accent. He told me his name was Tony and that he was in the Army, stationed out of Fort Hood. We got along, exchanged numbers, and began dating casually.
As I got to know Tony, he’d say things to me like, “Have you been behaving yourself?” Once, I brought him into my dorm and we got into an argument about some nonsense. It was all my fault and he threatened to take me over his knee!!! My heart pounded and I dared him to do it. I was soon across his lap for a spanking and it was heaven. It wasn’t bare bottom since we’d only ever kissed. I was 19, he was 24. It was he who first confided that he was a spanko. He told me all about his fetish and that he wouldn’t blame me if I broke off the relationship. He even cried some. I whispered in his ear that I too love all things spanking and bam!
He was deployed to Iraq after that. I dated a few guys during his deployment and even got spanked by a few vanillas, which was not very enjoyable. One idiot almost broke my lower back! Tony came back, was honorably discharged, and moved back to NY. We spoke on the phone and he told me he wanted to spend more time with me, but also wanted to spend some time there with his family. I had just received my nursing degree and landed a job outside of Austin in the ICU, so I had no plans to go to NY, even to be with my spanko soulmate. I dated more guys, but all vanillas with no understanding of our fetish. I found myself in a lonely place until Tony got a job in Texas to be with me. We married and now live in spanko bliss.
ST: God, that is a spanko fairytale of epic proportions. That's very lucky that you two were able to meet and reveal your fetishes to one another organically. It’s so rare to come across that opportunity with a spanko in the wild. It must have taken a lot of courage for him to come out to you like that, at the risk of losing you, but I imagine it felt amazing to hear the response you gave rather than the one he was probably expecting.
I know of a handful of spankos who relocated to be with their partner. A lot of people in our community seem open to doing it, but it's still a massive life-altering decision. How did you two arrive at that choice together?
OFG: Well, he knew I wasn't moving so he took the plunge and moved down with me. I was in my mid-twenties and even though spanking is an important part of who I am, I was really focused on my nursing career and had landed a good-paying job close to home. We spoke about it before he left New York and felt it was easier for him to relocate.
ST: That makes sense. How do you two handle spanking in your relationship? I imagine managing a domestic discipline arrangement is more complicated than it might seem from the outside.
OFG: The first rule of being in a relationship with domestic discipline is that the discipline portion is never done out of anger. If he’s really angry at something I did wrong, he’ll tell me he’s upset and we’ll discuss it later when he’s not angry. Sometimes a day will pass before I’m spanked. The second rule is that it’s all consensual. Most of my spankings are for mild bratty things. Much of my bratty behavior is done on purpose to earn a spanking. It makes it fun and we both play our roles. Since I have no children it’s easier for a relationship like ours to thrive. There’s no one around to ask, “Is Daddy spanking Mommy??”
ST: Haha, yes totally. I've heard it was rough for spankos with kids who weren’t able to indulge during the pandemic because their tiny humans were suddenly always home. Domestic discipline would be a challenge to manage consistently with little ones around, I'd imagine. You’d have to be strategic about ensuring they didn't pick up on it.
Sounds like the two of you have a healthy, playful approach to the whole thing. Those two rules would indeed be crucial for it to work in the long run and it's great that you and your husband are on the same page about that. In terms of what he spanks you for, do you two have specific types of behavior or infractions that you've both agreed are spank-worthy, or does he just spank you whenever he deems it appropriate?
OFG: I'm spanked most often for my sassy mouth. I'm also a huge flirt, so that's another big one. Honestly, I do so many naughty things just to get spanked!
ST: As it should be. What do you like about being spanked?
OFG: For me it’s the ultimate embarrassment and that’s why I love it so much. A grown independent woman bare assed across a man’s lap... 😂 Also, the actual burn on my bottom gives me so much pleasure. The childlike OTK position, the vulnerability and trust given to the person spanking... The funny thing is, I’m not that submissive, which is probably why I get spanked so much.
ST: I hear that. I think a lot of people conflate being a spankee with being submissive, but they're two different things that don't always coincide. Some of us would rather be bratty and push back a bit.
Last question for you. Any thoughts on why we're like this? Why do we spankos end up this way while most people don't?
OFG: I think we were super sensitive as children and somehow saw, were threatened with, or even got spanked by an adult. This caused us to take something we felt was traumatic and as a defense mechanism, our minds turned it into a sexual fetish, especially since spankings involve our bottoms. That's my take on it. With that said, all spanking enthusiasts I’ve ever met were all highly intelligent and very productive members of society.
ST: That's pretty much exactly my theory about it too. It applies to my own situation, at least. I just don't understand why most kids who are exposed to spanking at a young age (and there are obviously a ton,) don't end up with the fetish. I wonder where that difference stems from, but I doubt we'll ever get a clear answer on that. I'm sure the amount of people who hide their interest in it greatly exceeds the number of us who are open about it. And I agree on that last part. Most spankos I've met have been relatively intelligent and empathic, sensitive people. I'm rather fond of us, but I may be biased.
Old Fashioned Girl, I want to thank you for your time and willingness to share. It’s been great talking with you about this thing we love.
OFG: No problem! Thank you for being you. 😊
That’s some happily-ever-after magic right there. I wish OFG and hubby all the best for all eternity! Now go, dear reader, and tell your favorite friend with the fetish a dramatic, suspenseful spanking story with an equally excellent ending. You know they want to hear it.