Just Born This Way: Time to Talk Spanking with Traditional Brat
One of my favorite things about being a spanko is watching other spankos live out the journey of their fetish. We all have our ups and downs, awesome discoveries, and wisdom gained along the way to share with one another.
One of my favoritest spanko ladies to follow over the years has been Traditional Brat, who you can find on FetLife here. (She also has videos here on SpankingTube. More on those later.) I interviewed Traditional Brat about her spanko journey last year (and my lazy ass is JUST posting this, yikes). We talked implements, roleplay, bratting, and more. Enjoi~~~!
ST: Hey, Miss Traditional Brat. Thanks for taking the time to chat. Let's talk about SPANKING!
TB: Hi Sweet Tea! Oh yes, spanking - my favorite topic of discussion. I love how it looks, how it sounds, how it feels... not sure how it smells? And it usually tastes sweet because I tend to get treats after a spanking. 😉 You know, being the good girl I am. 😇
ST: You deserve all the treats in the pantry. Leave none for the tops!
It's been a pleasure watching your adventures unfold from afar via FetLife over the years. As is tradition, I would like to start this interview by asking about your spanko origin story. When and how did you realize you had a spanking fetish? Was there anything in particular that sparked it?
TB: I’ve gotten this question before from people in the community, and my answer is always the same. I really feel like I was just born this way. I can remember being a kid and hearing McLintock! on the TV late at night. I would sneak out of bed to watch the spanking scene in that movie, or when it would pop up on I Love Lucy. I always knew that I was drawn to it when I was younger, but I had no idea why. I was also that kid who looked up the word spanking and paddle in the dictionary.
I started watching spanking videos when I was in college. I had my own computer at that point so it was pretty safe to explore. But that was also the time where I felt like there might be something wrong with me. None of my friends ever talked about it and I felt like it made me an outsider, so I never shared it with anyone. After I graduated from college, I started to talk to people online. It felt like I had this desire in me and I knew from watching videos that other people were into it too. I first joined spankingneeds and started having conversations there.
I had my first adult spanking when I was 24. It was with someone I had been talking to for about four months. We finally made plans to meet up and it was such a cool experience. I knew from the very first smack that I had found what I had been looking for for a very long time. But it wasn’t necessarily an event that happened that made me feel like spanking was my thing, I literally think it’s just how I’m wired.
ST: Beautiful story! I'm glad to hear your first experience was a good one. I can relate to feeling like there might be something wrong with you. I was sure something was wrong with me for many years. Have you come to fully embrace the fetish at this point? Is there anything about it you still struggle with?
TB: I feel like I’ve mostly embraced it at this point. It’s hard to fully connect it to my vanilla world. I’ve never told any friends or family in my vanilla life about this. So I can’t say that I fully embraced it, necessarily.
About two years ago I decided to make this Interest of mine a priority, and I did my Summer of Spanking in 2021. I met about eight different people that summer. It was a lot of fun! Before that I had really taken the time to try to connect with people on FetLife. I had an account for a few months before I really started using it. I noticed I started interacting with the same people and that’s when I started making connections and friendships.
One area I feel like I struggle with, and it’s a personal struggle, is my pain tolerance. When I first started exploring this I would say it was pretty low. But that’s all relative I guess. But I knew that I wanted to work on that. I would watch all of these spankings happen mostly on video, and think to myself “I could never do that.“ The desire to do it was definitely there, but my tolerance at the beginning of this journey was very low.
That is something my play partner Daddieshand and I have been working on in the last two years. He’s helped me in a lot of ways in this community, but for something that personal he’s definitely been there for me. We know each other pretty well and he’s helped me explore a lot in this lifestyle. But that is one area he has specifically helped me with.
ST: What made you want to increase your pain tolerance? Was it a desire to explore your limits and see how far you could push them?
TB: Yes! I felt like I was limiting myself with my experiences. I can remember trying to play with implements in my early 20s, and feeling like I couldn’t handle very much. That disappointed me because a lot of the videos I would watch had implements being used, and I always loved the idea of having them used on me. So once I met some people who we became friends and had built some trust, I started exploring building my pain tolerance.
I’ve also found that exploring my pain tolerance tends to put me in that subspace floaty bliss. I get to a place where I can just relax and let go and fully submit. It’s almost like you’re falling, floating, and a bit of a high at the same time.
But this is all for my own personal growth. My journey and things I desire and work on are different than others. I’ve had some people reach out who say they are also exploring spanking and pain tolerance. It’s so cool to connect to people who understand what you’re working through!
ST: Spanking is an infinitely fun means of self-discovery. Let's talk about your penchant for bratting. I feel like bratting is a very specific flavor of kink. Some people love it, but it's not for everyone. What do you enjoy about being a brat and how does it influence the dynamic of your kinky relationships?
TB: Ohhh I love being a brat!! This is where I feel like I was influenced more. I grew up in a fairly strict household. Expectations were always high and while I had very loving parents and family, it was always expected that I behaved and was responsible and never had a toe out of line.
As I started exploring spanking more and more, I noticed that I would sort of act out on purpose to get in trouble. I feel like that’s fairly common in that kind of dynamic lol. But the more I did it the more I really enjoyed it. And then it just sort of naturally became part of who I am.
I think I’ve always enjoyed bratting as an adult, I can remember sort of trying to do it with guys I was dating in college. See if I could get in a little bit of trouble and get a spanking lol. But I don’t think I necessarily recognized it as “bratting” at the time.
I know that bratting isn’t for everyone. I hope that since people see “brat” in my username they recognize that that’s part of who I am. But I always try to be respectful when speaking to new people, and you can kind of tell if you playfully start to be a little sassy if they are into it. But I never want to cross the line with those who aren’t into it.
I have also found that while I do identify as a brat, I also have a little and submissive side to me. Sometimes it’s really an internal struggle. I’ll be up play parties with brat friends and Spankers, and some of us brats will get together and do naughty things. Especially when my Top tells me to stop, I have that internal struggle. I want to keep going and be silly and sassy, but I also have an equal desire to submit and obey.
It has been really cool to explore all of those sides of myself in the last few years.
ST: I think it's nice that you honor the fluid energy of those roles rather than trying to fit into one box. Speaking of roles, you seem exclusively to bottom, from what I can tell. Have you ever spanked someone or experimented with switching?
TB: I’ve never spanked anyone or experimented with switching. I don’t currently have a desire to spank anyone. Could that change in the future? Absolutely. I can’t really predict how I’m going to feel 10 years from now. For now I am exclusively a bottom or a spankee.
At this point I don’t think anyone could even take me seriously as a top. I could see myself pretending to be one and saying “Drop your pantalones!” It would be my brat side that would still come out in that moment!
I recently had my first double top experience! It was really awesome. I definitely got into that floaty subspace from the experience because I played with two incredible Spankers. The only downside, if it is even a downside, is that your bottom does not get a break. They each take a cheek and you literally get spanked the entire time. While definitely painful, it was also extremely exciting and fulfilling! I hope to have more experiences like that.
ST: Ooh, that sounds like fun. Getting spanked by multiple spankers who know what they're doing is a big one on my bucket list. I'd have to know both really well and trust them not to go too nuts together. Maybe someday...
Let's talk implements. Which is your favorite and why? Also, which is your LEAST favorite?
TB: This is a bit of a tricky question to answer. What I like to watch, what I imagined would be fun, and what is actually fun are all different!
I personally love to watch spankings that include a hairbrush or a wooden spoon. They tend to be more domestic looking and I’ve always enjoyed that. What I imagined would be fun would be leather straps and belts and paddles and even the notorious VCB. (More on that on a bit.) What I actually like? Honestly it’s hard to pick. It’s like a love-hate relationship.
ST: It is truly a love-hate relationship. I love the domestic implements too. They add so much magic to the vibe.
TB: One implement I have tried is a cane. And I have found that there are times that I absolutely love the feelings and emotions that can happen when we play with that. But also, the cane is pretty intense. Or it can be. So that would be an implement that I would probably only trust with a handful of people. It wouldn’t be an implement I would choose for someone new to me.
ST: Canes are mean and intense! I remember the first time I felt one on my butt and how surprised I was. You're a champ for putting up with that on a regular basis.
TB: I’m either a champ or a glutton for punishment with those canes! Then there is this thing called the VCB. The Vermont Country Brush. Daddieshand and LI-Spanking were the first ones who introduced me to that. it’s basically a bath brush, but they all say it’s indestructible. It is definitely an intense experience, and while I do also like how I can explore my pain tolerance with that, I wiggle and squirm and carry on a lot! It really is a battle.
My least favorite is probably the belt. I don’t know why, I’ve always had this weird fear of it? I was never spanked with one as a kid. For some reason I consider that a really scary implement? And I honestly can’t explain why. I have been spanked with it before as an adult, so I’m less fearful of it now. But it would never be an implement I would choose on my own.
ST: Belts have big Dad vibes. Very scary. I love watching a man pull one from the loops. I was never spanked with one as a kid either. You just see it so much on TV.
TB: I also have had experience with a variety of paddles.
ST: Any implements you haven't tried yet, but want to?
TB: I’ve actually been curious to get a slipper! Very British of me, I feel. 🤣 Other than that, I think I’ve been lucky enough to try a pretty wide variety of implements!
ST: Ooh, slipper time. British for sure! I'm wondering, how do you feel about roleplay? Have you done much of it? Do you tend to enjoy it?
TB: I have done roleplay before! I find that I am more comfortable doing it with someone I know versus someone I just met. Sometimes at spanking parties when you are playing with new people, they ask about doing roleplay with you. It’s definitely an easy way to accomplish a spanking! So I understand why they ask. Personally I have a hard time getting into a specific headspace with a new person. But for people I know well, I do enjoy it when it comes about!
ST: I can imagine roleplay would be iffy with someone you just met. Part of the fun of roleplay is the opportunity to explore as "different people," but you can't fully appreciate that difference when you don't know each other's baseline. Need a bit of personal context first.
TB: Oh definitely! Exploring with different people who have different preferences is really fun! But yes, it’s much more comfortable (at least for me) to play with someone I have a rapport with already.
ST: What are your favorite roles to play?
TB: My favorites are domestic discipline scenes and DDlg. Definitely can be a brat on both of those scenarios that click a different box for me. DDlg obviously allows me to play with my little side and with domestic discipline, I can dip into my subby side too. (But be a brat for both, of course. 😉)
ST: Yes, we definitely need roles where bratting can work. I like roleplay occasionally, especially when the other person is pretending to be mad at me and I can rile them up even further. But the whole thing is usually too funny and I end up laughing too much to stay in character. That keeps me from hitting the 'subspace' vibe, but is great in its own way.
Are there any roles you’ve yet to play, but might want to in the future?
TB: I’ve actually played quite a few roles! Boss/secretary, Daddy/little, Husband/wife, Daddy or Principal/schoolgirl. Also been spanked in play for a variety of reasons: bratty attitude, broke a rule, speeding, missing class, bad grades, didn’t finish my work. I don’t know that there are any roles I haven’t played already that would be a huge variable to what I’ve done already. Most of my play is D/s, domestic discipline, or DDlg related. Those are always my favorite.
ST: I getcha. The typical roles are always fun anyway. I want to ask about your experience of FetLife since that's where we met and have interacted. You seem to have a lot of fun on the site. What do you think of it? Has FetLife been good to you?
TB: When I first joined FetLife, I probably spent maybe one day a month there! I joined because I had heard about it through other people and thought, why not try it? One nice thing is it has a bit of something for everyone. I feel like it all started for me when I would comment on spanking photos. I noticed I started interacting with the same people over and over again. From there, I formed friendships and met a lot of really cool people!
The site is what you make of it. I spent a lot of time interacting with people and making friendships on purpose. I’ve enjoyed getting to know people who understand me on a level that nobody else really does because they don’t know that side of me. I do spend a lot of time on there. I honestly think of it as a regular social media site just like any other one I have! This one is just a little more specific I guess. But I have gained actual friendships from the site. If FetLife was shut down tomorrow, I would still be in touch with the people who are near and dear to my heart. I feel like because I’ve met so many really wonderful people through the site, I’ve grown a lot as a person. Who I was three years ago is very different from who I am now. But in some ways I am the same. I feel like I just have opened up a lot in exploring this thing I love to do.
I’ve also learned that not everyone comes to FetLife for the same reason, and not everyone has good intentions. You do have to be mindful of what you share and who you’re talking to. I’m a big believer in listening to my gut, and if someone is making you uncomfortable, it’s okay to say, “This conversation isn’t for me.” But overall, I have really had a great experience there.
ST: That's great. Always good to listen to one's gut in the Wild West of the internet. Did you have different expectations about "the community" before getting involved? How does it compare to what you imagined? I know that for me, it seemed like some big mysterious thing before I got involved. My ideas about it were way off.
TB: I don’t think I realized how human everyone actually is. I imagined people standing in their kitchens with whips and chains and wearing head-to-toe leather while making their morning coffee 🤣. And maybe some people do just that! But especially the people I have gotten to know well, whether in person or on there, who are in the lifestyle… it’s amazing how human everyone really is. I think it’s a similar feeling to when you go somewhere new and you have that anxious feeling of “what do I say?” But you eventually find your own voice.
ST: Totally. Tell me a bit about your spanking videos. When did you start making them and how did you come to that decision?
TB: Daddieshand and I spoke about it in November 2021 as an idea to consider. Then in January 2022 we filmed our first video. It felt quite exciting at the time. I was so nervous about it all. It feels very intimidating to share your spankings with the world. I think we posted our first video around March 2022, and we’ve been doing 1-2 videos a month ever since. It honestly is a really fun experience overall. We get to play different characters in various roles, or we are just ourselves sometimes!
But overall the feedback we’ve been getting has been so positive and encouraging. It feels like getting paid for doing something you love. We have the best time together anyway, but if we can share something we enjoy with others, why not!
ST: Absolutely. I've thought about doing it too at some point. Do you two plan most of your videos out beforehand, or do you tend to just turn on the camera and dive in without much of a plan?
TB: We’ve done both! A few of our videos are just us playing together and then we have some that we plan out a bit more. We often get requests for ideas and try to make those when we can. It’s so fun to get into character and just let it all go. We don’t have it all planned out for those videos, it’s more of a general outline. It’s all in good fun regardless, that’s what sparked this for us in the first place. It’s something we enjoy doing, and if we can share it with others, even better.
ST: For sure. Do you have a favorite video you've made so far?
TB: It’s a tie…Tara Forgets Her Water might be my favorite scripted one we did. We got so into character in that one and I loved how it turned out. My favorite unplanned one, we filmed a caning I received. It wasn’t a punishment, more meant for stress relief. Originally I was just going to get pictures from the video but then we watched it back. I liked how it showed how DH helped me through the experience. It was a tough one for me but he took such good care of me and helped me push through. I wanted to share it because it is a good example of how to explore tolerances in a safe way.
ST: That's wonderful. I think it's a good deed to show examples of scenes like that. Tell me about Daddieshand. Where did you meet and how has your dynamic unfolded over time?
TB: We actually met on FetLife! He messaged me in January 2021. We talked back and forth for a few months before meeting in person. I will never forget our first meet up. After we had lunch I invited him over to my home for some spanking fun. He pulls a whole gym bag out of his car and once we settled inside, he proceeded to show me all of the implements he had. He literally filled my coffee table and then some with all these toys. I remember feeling quite intimidated because at that time my experience was mostly hand with maybe a paddle or hairbrush thrown in. He was so patient. Explained each implement to me and talked about what it might feel like. It was like a spanking lesson, just a different version that I’m used to.
But then we played and it was so much fun. He’s been such a good friend to me. He’s helped me learn more about myself and this interest of mine. Playing with him allows me the opportunity to explore and push boundaries in a safe environment. Around January 2022 we were talking about how we felt and decided we wanted to explore things a bit deeper, and entered into a Top/brat dynamic. And the rest is history. People on Fet seem to love watching me be a sassy brat to him and in turn also love to watch him put me over his knee for a spanking. It’s glorious.
ST: Beautiful. What are some poignant things you have learned about yourself throughout this adventure?
TB: I’ve learned that it’s important to be comfortable when you play and explore. I think about situations I put myself in when I was younger and how lucky I am that nothing terribly bad happened. I’ve learned that it’s great to make friends and connections, and to do that both online and in person. But also be careful who you share things with and who you trust. Not everyone you meet has good intentions. I’ve learned how valuable authenticity is to me. I am proud to post pictures and writings that are real and meaningful. I won’t ever post things that aren’t genuine and I won’t interact with content that I don’t believe in or support. I feel like as someone who has as many followers as I do, it’s a responsibility of mine to engage and interact with content that shows a positive and healthy example of this lifestyle. I’ve also honestly realized how much I enjoy being a brat! That wasn’t something I really knew about myself 2-3 years ago.
ST: Bratting is absolutely the best. What's been one of your top spanko experiences since you started practicing kink?
TB: One of my top spanko experiences would be going to spanko parties or events. I’ve gone to one of the bigger spanko events in Texas (TASSP) to just meeting up with a group of spanko friends and having a night of spanking fun. It is such a fun experience meeting people who enjoy the same thing you do. You can put your guard down and relax. I always joke that I would give any spanko friend my phone and be absolutely fine, but my closest friends and family? No… you may not have my phone without my supervision!
ST: That's right. Gonna need a spanko friend to go through my belongings first after I pass away or everyone else will have the joy of sorting through my dearest possessions. Any plans for future spanking parties?
TB: Yup! There’s parties with SCONY that I have gone to before that I plan to attend as I can, as well as some house parties with friends. I’d love to go to some of the other spanking events that come up as well! Just a matter of working out what I can do in my schedule.
ST: Let's hope you can continue to make the most of our wonderful lifestyle as it suits you. Do you have any other exciting spanko plans or dreams for the future?
TB: My ultimate hope and dream is to find that forever person. I would love so much to be a wife someday. That’s been a dream of mine since I can remember. To have someone to share my life with everyday, be best friends and laugh and go through life’s ups and downs all while we live in spanko bliss. Not sure it will ever happen exactly like that, but I’m hopeful that I will find something like that.
ST: I hear you. The spanko-soulmate dream is a lovely one. So many variables go into forming a good relationship already, but finding that best-friend person you click with who also has the fetish... rare, but not impossible! Fingers crossed for us all who seek that kind of partnership.
TB: For now I am so grateful for the people I have met in this community. Whether it’s someone I talk to everyday and see in person or those people I hear from once in a while, it all is meaningful and impactful and I know I am a better person for allowing myself to explore this kink we enjoy so much.
ST: There are some absolutely delightful people well deserving of that gratitude in our community. Last question for you: What would you like to see more or less of in the spanko community and why?
TB: I can really only speak from my perspective but I think if everyone had a little more patience and compassion for others, our world in general would be better. As far as the spanko community, I hope it continues to grow and we all learn from each other’s experiences. My advice to anyone who just joined, respectfully interact and communicate with others. Have fun and make it your own.
ST: What might that look like for those who are new to the community?
TB: Well when I stepped into the community 3 years ago, all I knew was “I like spanking”. So that was kind of like a starting point for me. As I put myself out there, reached out to people, interacted on writings and pictures, I slowly started to feel myself find my place here. If I sat back and just watched from afar, I would not have the friendships and discoveries I have today. But my journey was my own. I tend to move at a slow pace, and I found people who were okay being patient. And now I am lucky enough to have some of the best people in my life. I also believe that this journey brought me to my brat discovery. That wasn’t something I had ever thought about before I started engaging online.
So when I say make it your own, do what makes you comfortable and happy. Write a story, post a picture, send a message, comment on someone else’s content… do something to make yourself feel good and part of the community. I strongly believe the more you put yourself out there, the more connections you make. I was on Fet for over a year before any of that started happening, but again, I move slow. But my journey was perfect for me.
ST: I love that. Anything else you'd like to share with readers before we wrap up our interview, Miss TB?
TB: I just wanted to thank YOU for taking the time to chat with me. This has been so lovely! It really has been a pleasure.
ST: The pleasure has been mine!
Just how many of us were born this way, spankos? We’ll never know for sure. May your own journey be abundant and filled with infinite bliss!