Coffee, Tea, and a Spank-Natter with Switchy TommyRedBottom
CW: This post contains GIFs that show a spanked and fully bared red bubble butt. Oh my word!!
I’m still fairly new to the tight-knit U.S. spanko scene as someone who started exploring IRL kink while living overseas. Sometimes I’ll end up chatting with someone on FetLife for a while before realizing they’re kinda famous. TommyRedBottom was one of those people.
“I’m finishing up a blog interview with this guy named Tommy,” I told my play partner.
“Yeah. Do you know him?”
“I know of him. He’s been around for a long time.”
Tommy’s a delightful and ever-so-handsome switch who apparently used to model and perform in spanko porn. Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinteresting, no? I didn’t know anything about that while our digital friendship was forming, but he eventually mentioned it and here we are. We recently joined forces to wax poetic about our favorite thing for y’all’s pleasure and amusement. Grab your beverage of preference and enjoy!
Sweet Tea: Tommy dahling, the time has come. We're gonna talk about SPANKING. Isn't that exciting?
TommyRedBottom: *sips a cup of tea with my pinky extended* Ah yes, SPANKING. It IS about time, isn't it? I am very excited.
ST: You have tea and I have coffee, so I’d say we're ready to begin.
We have much to discuss, Tommy. I’ve never interviewed a switch for the bloggy before. Personally, I've switched on many occasions, but the label doesn't reeeeeeeeally resonate with me, so this convo will be enlightening. You switchy folk interest me greatly. First, however, I want the background deets of your spanko journey. How did all of this start for you?
TRB: Well, you’re indeed right that we switchy folk are an interesting bunch. We get to enjoy both ends of the metaphorical and literal paddle. It wasn't always that way for me, though.
The earliest distinctive memory I have is from age 6 or so. I was at a sleepover with a bunch of friends and one of their moms was babysitting while the rest of our parents were out at a party or something. It was bedtime and, boys being boys, we just could not stop making noise. After several warnings, she came in a final time and threatened to spank all of us if she heard one more sound. That made us all shut up! But...my mind was absolutely racing. I was never spanked growing up, so the thought of it was intriguing. I actually remember contemplating making noise just to see what would happen. What stopped me was not wanting to get my friends in trouble and mad at me. That is definitely a strong memory.
ST: Dude, you got threatened with a group spanking by a friend's mom? That's intense! A lot of my friends' parents were spankers, but they never threatened to swat me. I would have been terrified. I can see how it got you pondering the whole thing.
TRB: Yeah. And I did all the cliche spanko stuff too, like looking up spanking and other buzzwords in the dictionary, re-reading words about spanking in books, and feeling enamored when it was in a cartoon like Tom and Jerry or a movie like McClintock. The idea of getting spanked—really really spanked—was always on my little mind. It made me look at teachers and other kids’ moms differently. I sometimes wonder if I’d been subject to such punishments, if I'd be different now. Some say yes, others say no. I like to think that I would just have more information and experience! It wasn't until I became a preteen that I suddenly had urges to give spankings. While other boys saw girls and wanted to hook up, I wanted them over my knee. That was an interesting time. My whole teen spanko development was battling with which I wanted more: to spank or be spanked!
ST: Your sudden preteen urge to switch is fascinating. What do you think caused that shift toward wanting to top too?
TRB: I'm sure sexual awareness played a huge role in my desire to spank. I had already come to the realization that a spanked girl was exciting to me, but as I grew to appreciate the female form, I had more definitive biological reasons to be excited. And yes, hooking up with a girl was an exciting notion too… but what I wanted more was to take them over my knee and see their bottoms turn red. I was also growing up during an interesting time for female fashion trends, so the sight of "whale tail" or a short denim mini-skirt all just added to that desire to spank them.
And with alllll that said...the sight of a well-dressed woman still made my little-boy knees weak. I think that even as I was getting older, that unspanked little boy inside my mind was still yearning.
ST: Do you feel like you lean more toppy or bottomy, or are you equally inclined toward both?
TRB: Well, like many, it is usually based on the mood of the day. But I must say… as of late, I have leaned more towards being a bottom. I haven't gotten to physically experience either side in quite some time, and I'm thinking now that because I do not have it directly in my life, my "truer" side is showing more, perhaps? But all it takes is an image or certain phrase to tip the balance one way or the other.
Thinking further, I have generally spanked and gotten spanked the same amount throughout my life, though the core sources of those spankings were very different. I’ve usually topped in the context of committed relationships, with only occasional bottoming as a need seen by my partner at the time, to make me happy. Most of my bottoming experiences have come from my short-lived modeling career and spanko contacts I've made from said modeling. Both have brought me immense joy.
I believe that with the right person I would be able to have a perfect balance of giving and receiving. I think that's more on the curse side of the blessing/curse ratio of being a switch… our best match would be another switch.
ST: That's got to be a challenge for spankos who genuinely relish both giving and receiving. I imagine you can never quite be satisfied unless your partner is also a switch or you've got an open relationship of some kind and have agreed it's okay to play with other people. There seems to be a good amount of prejudice out there against switches as well. Is that something you've experienced?
TRB: You bring up two very interesting things that somewhat go hand-in-hand. I have indeed experienced some prejudice for being a switch. For some, they do not believe a person can genuinely be a switch, and I think that’s because they have such strong convictions in their identified role: top or bottom. I imagine bisexual people get the same bad rap. For others, they can’t play with someone who "switch hits" because the core dynamic isn't there for them. I have specifically been told by girls/women that, because I also liked to get spanked, they wouldn't respect me enough as a top to let me spank them. How can I like being called both Sir and little boy???
This makes relationships all the more challenging, but also that much more rewarding. I came so very close to having that ideal balance with an amazing person… but a combination of life events and good ol' fashioned self-sabotage derailed that.
ST: I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out, Tommy.
TRB: Thank you kindly, love. Where I find solace is in all of the amazing things we shared in our time together. We saved each other. I turned her into a spanko, and she allowed me to explore so much with her trust. I believe we are both better people from what we shared. She is still a very good friend of mine and I'm glad for that friendship.
ST: It’s nice the friendship survived and thrived even if a relationship wasn't ultimately in the cards.
I think I’ve been that prejudiced person you described at points in the past. I only wanted to date or play with people who exclusively topped because I'd had a few experiences with dudes who called themselves switches but really just wanted to bottom, and that became clear over time. I can enjoy spanking people, but when the situation evolves to a point where it's rarely reciprocated, if ever, I get pretty annoyed.
TRB: That’s a well-founded concern. What I think is generally happening in those cases is that men find it much easier to find partners to spank rather than be spanked by. Even in "traditional" vanilla sex, it is usually the man that smacks the woman's bottom, not the other way around. I think it's a combination of social stigma, preconceived gender roles, and simple biases. So, in order to even get on the playing field, men will do whatever it takes to set themselves up to ask to be spanked. I find it all very similar to the dating ritual: we present our best selves and what we believe our potential mate wants in us. Once we are in, our defenses start to come down and we open up about what we really want. Time-in and rapport give us a better chance of achieving what we want.
(Of course, I’m in no way condoning that kind of dishonest behavior/activity. It is absolutely devious and unfair. I just like to understand the ‘why’ to better negotiate relationships. Everything is a learning opportunity. Some just take longer than others!)
ST: Agreed. These days I think playing with switches, or at least people with experience switching, can be hugely advantageous. You become a better spanker once you know how it feels to receive, especially when it comes to understanding the headspace. My best spankings have been from guys who've either been spanked in the past or get spanked regularly.
TRB: You hit the nail on the head there. Being a switch gives you so much more information and a greater overview of everything that’s happening in a spanking session, or really any kink activity. Knowing what different implements feel like, reading body language, headspace and verbiage, and the critical understanding of how important communication is, etc. I love playing with switches because I know they will understand what I'm saying due to their experience, or at the very least, interest and research. Plus, switches tap into so many emotions and thought processes, so you get to learn more about that person.
This is in absolutely no way meant to discredit or disparage those that are solely at one end of the proverbial paddle, as that solid identity tells you so much about them in and of itself. Rather, switches give you different kinds of information that when put together show you who they are. You just have to be able to interpret it all.
ST: I'm often impressed by play partners who can fluidly transition between both ends of the spectrum. Keeps me on my toes.
TRB: The art of switching truly does keep those involved on their toes! I’m sometimes surprised even with myself, when I can go back and forth on the same day.
ST: What do you enjoy about spanking people and, conversely, being spanked?
TRB: Soooo many things. In terms of both, it’s the intimacy. The giving up of power and feeling vulnerable and exposed. The visuals and outfits, verbiage and scolding.
To be more specific on each end: as a top, I love being given someone's trust. It is truly an honor to get to hold such power over someone's mind and body. Getting to feel her over my knee, the tensing and relaxing, twitches and kicks. Hearing her yelp and cry out. And, of course, seeing her bottom turn red! I get the best seat in the house to the ultimate sight. And the fact that I'm the one doing it? All the better!
As a bottom, I love getting to forget the world for a while and just focus on what's to come. That can be said for topping too, but when I'm the recipient, it "hits" harder mentally. You really can't focus on anything else. I’m a very visual person, so I love seeing my spankers dressed up in a power outfit, reflecting the cliches of maternal feminine power. That helps to get me into the right mindset. Being over her knee makes me feel little and helpless. I'm not really into pain, per se, but I absolutely need it to hurt beyond bearable. I need to feel spanked like I deserve it. Scenarios are fun and all, as both a top and bottom, but I still need it to feel real.
And then finally, there's the aftercare. I love holding a spanked girl in my arms just as much as I love being held after a spanking. That intimacy and feeling of safety is critical. I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface here, but I guess that's my answer in a nutshell lol.
ST: I can relate to all of that, especially the part about needing it to feel real. It's great, of course, to spank just for the fuck of it, but having a reason for discipline adds a layer of connection for me, in the right context. I want to feel like we're doing something for one another. Serving each other in some way. That gets to the heart of what melts me about disciplinary spanking—that focused devotion to each other's well-being.
TRB: This is something you and I have talked about a lot before. Even when the spanking is for pure play, it should still feel real. A spanking needs to still be a spanking! And that connection is so very important and special. It really is serving each other.
ST: Let's imagine you've been naughty and you're going to visit a play partner to get spanked, Tommy. How would the perfect spanking unfold for you? What would be your ideal bottoming experience from start to finish?
TRB: Oh boy, I'm blushing 😅 😳 ok ok... here we go!
I arrive at her place. While I wait for her to finish getting ready, I end up sneaking into her bedroom to take a peek inside her panty drawer. (Yep, I'm one of those naughty boys lol.) I am, of course, caught red-handed during the act. She walks in in a blouse with a button or two undone, a form-fitting pencil skirt with a slit, thigh-high stockings with lace tops, and lovely high heels. My jaw is agape as I’m scolded for being a snoop and since I'm so curious about panties, she declares, that's what I'll be spanked in. Only the most feminine panties will do—to really make the embarrassment set in. She takes me over her knee and spanks me vigorously for my actions, making sure to really give my exposed sit spots proper attention. A lengthy dose of her hairbrush follows to really send the message home. I at no point notice when she bares my bottom because her panties have provided absolutely no protection at all. If I'm not already crying at that point, the finale with my own belt will seal the deal. Those strokes, I count through tears, promising to never do it again. Once she is totally satisfied that I’m good and punished, she sends me to the corner while she sits behind me, legs crossed, admiring her handiwork. Eventually she lets me out of the corner and gives me the biggest hug. I now have a freshly thrashed bottom, a tear-stained face, and new panties to keep as my own.
ST: I love it. I do remember you having a thing for fantasy panty stealing. Lingerie is fucking expensive and you'd deserve to be spanked, Tommy. I like the idea of finishing with licks from your own belt. Luuuuurvly!
TRB: I've had that fantasy almost as long as I've known I wanted to be spanked. Feminine clothing has always intrigued me, whether I'm submitting to it or having it over my knee.
ST: Do you have any real-life spanking stories that are particularly memorable? What's a session that sticks out in your memory?
TRB: Easily, my very first professional shoot for Spanking360. I had been emailing with Audrey Knight for a bit and was offered the opportunity to come do a video. I bottomed to a lovely yet intense woman, Krystina, who spanked the HELL out of me! She put me in girly pink panties (which I still have to this day) and proceeded to paddle and strap me mercilessly. No warm up, no OTK, and no hand! An assortment of paddles and straps rained down on my panty-clad, and then bare, bottom! It wasn't until a few years later that Audrey told me that she wanted to see if I was the real deal or not, so she wanted to put me to the test. I did a few more shoots for her and to this day, we are still very good friends. Photos from that shoot can be found on my Fet page. She’s the woman with the black hair, red skirt, and stacked strappy heels next to my very red, very marked bottom!!
ST: Wow! Holy shit! That's a great story, you lucky boy. Tell me more about your previous professional work. For how long were you a spanko porn star?
TRB: Hahaha! Well, it wasn't for too long. Maybe a couple years. Shoots were few and far between. The girl I was with at the time participated in them and we even did some stuff on our own. But it eventually took its toll, as she is not an actual spanko, so we bowed out.
As for the actual time in it, it was a blast! I was surprised how comfortable I was in front of a camera...which is kudos to Audrey and her husband for creating that environment. The ideas were cool, the shoots were really fun, and the people were amazing! The spankings most certainly hurt! Audrey was very big on authenticity. And boy oh boy did she and her husband have quite the collection of implements!! They were the real deal, both on and off camera. Absolutely fantastic people and friends. I never felt uncomfortable and nor did my partner. I do wish they had published the videos and photos in full. Maybe one day!
ST: That sounds exciting. I'd love to see all that stuff. You are BRAVE, my friend.
TRB: Well, I do have a SpankingTube account with one whole video on there, lol. It's a little home movie. I also have some GIFs of me getting spanked, from that shoot I mentioned. Now that I'm older, I appreciate being called brave for doing all of that, so thank you.
ST: So where are you currently at in your spanko journey, Tommy? Anything you're looking forward to or want to do in the future? More porn? Niche role-play scenarios? New partners?
TRB: Currently, I am a family and career man. There’s very little room in my life for spanking fun. I do, though, want to change that, which will require deep and continuous conversations. Being a spanko is who I am and what I want in my life in some way. I do want to switch, and enjoy a few different scenarios. I don't think I have the physique for porn anymore, as I now rock the "dad bod" lol. Maybe I could top still? But I'd much rather have a partner to switch with. Or one to top and one to bottom. It's been so long now... I'd take what I could get!
ST: Sorry to hear about the lack of spankles in your life. I hope you get to meet the right partner(s) in the future and that it all goes smoothly. It's difficult to incorporate and balance this thing we love with all of life's other elements and demands.
TRB: Life does do a good job of getting in the way sometimes, but some of it can be self-inflicted. We just have to do our best.
ST: Last question for you, Tommy. What advice would you give to any secret closet spankos out there who still haven't taken the plunge and begun exploring in real life? What might you say to them, or to a younger version of yourself?
TRB: Learn everything you can and do your research. Trust your gut when communicating with people. Don't let shame keep you in hiding. Embrace who you are. There are lots of us out here ready to make you feel welcome and comfortable.
And to a younger me… I'd say, “Be more confident and assertive. You've been this way forever. Embrace it and find those who will respect it and embrace it too. And find a partner who will join you on your journey in spanking and in life.”
The best piece of advice I was ever given was at a national spanking party: "Be with someone who gets it. You'll always be a spanko. Don't try to change yourself to try and fit into a role you aren't meant for."
ST: Man, we've all had so much to figure out and process when it comes to our sexuality in order to get to this point. It makes me a bit emotional to think about it.
Soooo, I lied about the last question being the last question because you've inspired me to ask another question.
TRB: Haha, it's ok! I could do this forever.
ST: What role has our community played in your life? Do you feel like support from other spankos has helped or influenced you? I know that for me, connecting with others who have the fetish has made a significant difference. Do you feel this way too?
TRB: This interview is a great example of what the community has done for me: given me a voice. We spankos have gone through a considerable amount of time where we had to keep all of our real thoughts to ourselves, having no idea what half of them meant. Getting to share our ideas with others who understand the language is a huge deal. Just being able to know we’re not alone is amazing. When I figured out that I wasn’t the only one, a massive weight lifted from my shoulders. I became truly happy and ok with my love for spanking. I think that is probably the biggest takeaway for me. The challenges come in the form of compatibility issues, as we've discussed. Just like in every other aspect of life, we all have to find what we want/need and make sure we’re doing the right things. This community gives us the opportunity to do so.
ST: That resonates, 100%. We’re not alone and never were. That knowledge in itself changes everything.
I want to thank you for the pow-wow, Tommy. I appreciate your time and energy. Feels pretty kewl to have interviewed a porn star too.
TRB: It was an absolute pleasure! I appreciate you taking the time as well. It felt good to say all that. And now... you make me want to dig up all of my old content. I really do want to get that video I mentioned out there!
ST: Go find it! I want to watch you get spanked!
TRB: I will definitely make it known if/when I do.
ST: I’ll be waiting with bells on, then. In the meantime, keep being you, you studly man.
TRB: Thank you very much. 😊 This has been so much fun.
Tommy can be reached on FetLife if you wanna drop a line and say hey. Lots of love to him and the rest of you spanktastic stars out there spreading orgasms, intimacy, and joy to the world. SHNOOKIES!