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  • Writer's pictureSweet Tea

Apollo Goes in for a Spank, Brat Daphne Pulls Expert Move

One of my favorite ancient statues is Gian Lorenzo Bernini’s Apollo and Daphne, housed in the Borghese Gallery in Rome.

This magnificently detailed work of art captures a Greek myth about Apollo, god of the sun, and his rapey ways. The woman, Daphne, runs from his sexual advances while begging the gods to help her. In response, they turn her into a laurel tree just as Apollo catches up with her. #Cockblocked

What do your spanko eyes see here?

My spanko brain has come up with an alternative story it likes better. Maybe your spanko brain will like it too.

In my version, Daphne is an earthly brat of impeccable skill. Apollo thinks he’s all that because the world literally revolves around him and she’s grown tired of his arrogant godly shenanigans.

One day, she informs him that his dorkfulness level is high and in a haughty rage, he runs after her, intent on turning her over his knee for a good spanking. As he approaches, he winds back with an open palm, ready to deliver the first of many sharp smacks.

But oh dear!

What’s this?

She’s turned into a fucking tree!


Can’t very well spank a tree, now, can we?


Fellow brats, the next time you’re running to escape comeuppance, simply shout, “TREE BECOMES ME!”

Your spanker will be powerless and when they storm off in search of an ax, simply return to your mortal form and go about your day, empowered to brat further. Easy peasy.


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